There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
