Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
