Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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