I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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