so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
