when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
