Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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