So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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