If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
