plz talk dirty to me
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
