He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize