the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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