If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Screwed.edu
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
