A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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