If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
