I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
