And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I pour the whiskey from now on
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
