We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
did i just pee glitter
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
