six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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