u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize