Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
