i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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