okay pat passed out under dana's car
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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