so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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