So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
