so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
