New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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