Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
