Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
