I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
