just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
