does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize