Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
