I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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