i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
