Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
