BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
