pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
