her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
