why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
