awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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