Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
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