i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
