So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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