Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
