Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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