I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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