you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
