so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
