That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
