im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
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