it's not cheating when I paid for it
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
