so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Randomize
