If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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