I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
