I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
