Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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