you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
