He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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