I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
