1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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